Meet the Pussycat dolls:-

~ Nicole Scherzinger
~ Melody Thornton
~ Ashley Roberts
~ Kimberly Wyatt
~ Jessica Sutta

26th April

2nd day of the 1st aid competition:-
1. Home nursing
2. Short case

Great, my first time waking up at 4 in the morning... This is so suffering!!><

The home nursing was a total havoc, cuz I had no inkling of how and what to do!! I was doing things with trembling hands as I was lack of confidence and faith!! "God, help me", I prayed... But thank god Li Chih was always there to tell us jokes when we were being quarantined and gave us all the encouragement we needed...^^

Thank god that I was fully alert for short case, despite the make up of the open fracture, as in the bone protrude out from the skin, and other injuries... They looked so real and scary at the same time!! Well, I was in-charged in calling the ambulance and checking the lower limbs with No.4, who is Pik Yin... Everything seemed to be on my finger tips except that I was having problems with the stretcher... How in the world do you get this thing right? I thought to myself, it's damn freaking hard!!

Everything seemed to pass so fast that it was finally over, which is 5pm... And the result was out, we had lost... But it doesn't matter, I'm satisfied and happy with myself... I've won!! I've achieved my greatest victory ever... I knew I'd passed god's test, I knew it!!

25th April

1st day of the competition:-
1. Uniform Inspection
2. Marching

I was dressed in my hard collar, buttoned uniform to school with a big black rubbish bag, [actually, it's my st john full U for the uniform inspection]... I thought everything was going smoothly, until my team manager, Li Chih checked my uniform... Oh no, my mom had ironed it wrongly!! Oh god, this is so not good, but thank god that I'm not the only 1, so the entire team, 12 of us had to go to ban keng's house to get things right...><

At Ban Keng's house...
We were taught to tie shoe laces, yea you heard me, SHOE LACES... Brian had to wash our uniform to get rid of stains and as for Li Chih, she helped us with our hair as we had to make sure that our hair is 100% neat and tidy, thus we had to wash our hair and redo it!! Our hair is all combed up with 'gallons' of gels and hairspray... And you will never believe when I say that we girls turned up to have the most ugliest and horrible hairstyles in the entire world!!><

At Chong Hua...
That's where the competition was held... There were 18 team and by just drawing lot, it's like the most 'fortunate' day ever for us... Guess what? We got the last, which is NCP3... Sweat~><

"Ke Ke Jie Jie", called my neighbour as she ran towards me... Oh no, not now... Not at a moment like this, but I'm glad that she came looking for me in this gigantic school... And within a minute, the competition started, so we had to fall in under the blazing sun... We were the NCP3 group, and together we had to stand under the sun for approximately 1 hour, which was the longest time compared to other teams... Lol><

Well, same goes for marching... We had to wait, wait, and wait.... The worst part was, we were quarantined in a so-called quarantine room... Other than that, everthing went well and the 1st day of competition ends at 7pm... So tired...><

Hour of Uniform Inspection...><

I could not supress the frustration in me any longer, and I ended up bursting into tears, when I was supposed to change for the stupid practice...

Not noticing where I was, I heard a familiar voice asking me, "Why are you crying?"... I turned around, and saw my principle standing behind of me... And that was when I was brought into the principle's room...

I told her my problems and this was what she said:

"If I were you, I wouldn't quit... This is a training ground which God is training your EQ... You must not give up but to overcome your feelings... Let everything go and go for your practice with an open heart... And once the competition is over, it will be your greatest victory..."

I wonder...

What if I'm depressed?
Will you be there for me?
What if I'm bored?
Will you make me happy?
What if I fail?
Will you still want to be my friend?
What if I'm the one who will be there for you when you are feelin' blue?
Will you appreciate me?
What if I need you?
Will you help me?
What if we depart?
Will we still be friends?
What if I break your heart?
Will you ever forgive me?
What if I change?
Will you accept me for who I am?
What if I'm gone?
Will you miss me?
What if.....

I'm not sure and don't even know who I am anymore...><

I was lying on my bed with my blanket on, staring blankly at the ceiling, reminiscing about the past... My past wasn't perfect, rather, it's a mixture of all kinds of feelings... Failure, success, bitterness, sadness, happiness, surprise, anxious, melancholy, worries etc. etc... I've tried and taste them all, so what could hurt me more? Even there was one time my heart was penetrated with frustration, leaving it to bleed and scars were all over it!! Life seems so complicated, so so complicated...><

I then reminisced about an incident which is happening right now, something between ZY and I... Anger and frustration began to fill in every gap of my nerves, every cavity of my body... What have I done wrong? I think to myself... Why am i being treated like this? Why?><

Tears began to weld in my eyes, and instictively I prayed, "I'm sorry God, I don't know who I am anymore, I don't behave like you, and I just can't help it... God, help me..." And within a minute, I began to hear something spiritually from my heart, saying:-

"KJ, you don't want to make the same mistake like what you did to your lovely bro, do you?"
"You told her that you wouldn't ignore her, but where have your words gone to?"
"KJ, you have tolerated her for 4 months, why not tolerate for 2 more years?"
"Forgive her, and I'll forgive you..."
"She's your brother too..."

The anger in me subsided... What am I supposed to do now? What have I turned to? Oh god, I thank You that you have spoken to me, I know it's You!! Father Lord Jesus, help me, I'm so lost... L-O-S-T!!><

Chan Yen Ping